Studs for Hire in Press Corp
February 18, 2005 - 10:14 A.M. (EST)PRESS SECRETARY SCOTT McCLELLAN UNVEILS STRICT NEW CREDENTIALINGAPPLICATION TO ENSURE ROCK-SOLID INTEGRITY OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS POOL
Statement by the Press SecretaryMR. McCLELLAN:Good morning, distinguished and virile gentlemen of the news media.Please be seated. Well, except for the new correspondent fromPowerBottoms.Com – because you are looking just fine right where youare, Kyle.Today, in the wake of a certain uneventful, non-scandalous resignation,President Bush has directed me to promptly fill all vacancies here inHis beloved Press Pool – in a manner befitting the tight, beefed-upsecurity desired by a nation entrenched in the communal showers of war.
All top-notch fellas are strongly encouraged to apply using the all-newquick and easy form.We're looking for a few high-caliber men – rough and ready media proswith an insatiable hunger for exposing facts, who'll probe deep for thetruth,willing to stay on top to get to the bottom of things, but showing thenecessary versatility to bring a whole new meaning to the term"rock-hard news."I eagerly await your applications.
PRESS POOL APPLICATIONPERSONAL INFORMATION:Full Name: Date of Male Birth: / /Address:City: State: ZIP:Weight: lbs. Height: Length: Girth:Body Fat: Eye Color:
Cut UncutOrientation: Top Bottom BipartisanFORMAL JOURNALISM EDUCATION & TRAINING:Degree:PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE: (Note: Eligible Candidates Must Select at LeastSIX of the Respected Media Outlets Below)Assoc. Press Reuters Gannett News NY Times Co. Warner Bros.News Corp. M4M-TV Moonie Times Gigolo Journal Exxxstacy-USAPatriotasticPropaganda RagNobodyReads.com HornyRightWingStudHypocrites.comClosetcaseChristianCornholers.net KhristianKumfreaks4Karl.netHotSkinheadRectalJackhammersForHire.com WatchMeSplooge.blogspot.comusers.livejournal.com/~quivering_mangina hornypriests4hannity.biz*Process my application
*CONGRATULATIONS!YOU'RE HIRED!'MaleProstitute PRESSPASSAll Access ~Karl'Next Steps:1. Click the press pass above to acquire your Official White House PressCredentials.2. Next Monday morning, promptly at 7:00am, present your pass to theSecret Service guard at the North Gate to enjoy no-holds-barred accessto every nook and crevice of the White House complex – and its staff.3. Make Edward R. Murrow proud.» E-MAIL THIS PAGE TO A FELLOW REPUBLICAN «©2001-2005 - a chickenhead productions parodyhttp://www.whitehouse.org/media/application.asp
Statement by the Press SecretaryMR. McCLELLAN:Good morning, distinguished and virile gentlemen of the news media.Please be seated. Well, except for the new correspondent fromPowerBottoms.Com – because you are looking just fine right where youare, Kyle.Today, in the wake of a certain uneventful, non-scandalous resignation,President Bush has directed me to promptly fill all vacancies here inHis beloved Press Pool – in a manner befitting the tight, beefed-upsecurity desired by a nation entrenched in the communal showers of war.
All top-notch fellas are strongly encouraged to apply using the all-newquick and easy form.We're looking for a few high-caliber men – rough and ready media proswith an insatiable hunger for exposing facts, who'll probe deep for thetruth,willing to stay on top to get to the bottom of things, but showing thenecessary versatility to bring a whole new meaning to the term"rock-hard news."I eagerly await your applications.
PRESS POOL APPLICATIONPERSONAL INFORMATION:Full Name: Date of Male Birth: / /Address:City: State: ZIP:Weight: lbs. Height: Length: Girth:Body Fat: Eye Color:
Cut UncutOrientation: Top Bottom BipartisanFORMAL JOURNALISM EDUCATION & TRAINING:Degree:PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE: (Note: Eligible Candidates Must Select at LeastSIX of the Respected Media Outlets Below)Assoc. Press Reuters Gannett News NY Times Co. Warner Bros.News Corp. M4M-TV Moonie Times Gigolo Journal Exxxstacy-USAPatriotasticPropaganda RagNobodyReads.com HornyRightWingStudHypocrites.comClosetcaseChristianCornholers.net KhristianKumfreaks4Karl.netHotSkinheadRectalJackhammersForHire.com WatchMeSplooge.blogspot.comusers.livejournal.com/~quivering_mangina hornypriests4hannity.biz*Process my application
*CONGRATULATIONS!YOU'RE HIRED!'MaleProstitute PRESSPASSAll Access ~Karl'Next Steps:1. Click the press pass above to acquire your Official White House PressCredentials.2. Next Monday morning, promptly at 7:00am, present your pass to theSecret Service guard at the North Gate to enjoy no-holds-barred accessto every nook and crevice of the White House complex – and its staff.3. Make Edward R. Murrow proud.» E-MAIL THIS PAGE TO A FELLOW REPUBLICAN «©2001-2005 - a chickenhead productions parodyhttp://www.whitehouse.org/media/application.asp
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