Marcy Wages With Jollybeggar She Knows Better What Really Happened to Jesus…and Discussions About Jesus Actors;
Marcysays; This all started when Marcy (me) started asking people who they thought the worst ‘Jesus Actors’ of all time where. I mean, we’re talking from Mel Gibson’s ‘The Passion’ on down through ‘The Robe’ and what-not, the worst Jesus Actors of all time.
We’re talking the worst method actors known to cinema: “A November Boston Globe review of Jesus Christ Superstar called the non-Equity show "so unspeakably awful it's enough to make a writer give up theater criticism forever and set up a shoeshine stand in the middle of a mudslide."
Anyways, here’s a partial list of Jesus Actors:
Willem Dafoe in The Last Temptation of Christ
James Caviezel in The Passion of the Christ
Jeremy Sisto in Jesus (made for tv)
Brian Deacon in Jesus (from '79)
Claude Heater in Ben-Hur
Kenneth Colley in Life of Brian
Ted Neeley in Jesus Christ Superstar
William Powell in Jesus Of Nazareth
Max Von Sydow in The Greatest Story Ever Told
H.B. Warner in The King Of Kings
Jeffrey Hunter in ‘The King of Kings’ (61)
Okay, as for what Marcy has to say about this list, Willem Dafoe also played the mad scientist in the Spiderman movie. Enough said there.
As theological discussions tend to go, the conversation evolved into ‘What really happened with Jesus’ with this crucifixion deal. Marcy, who happens to be a whore not unlike Mary Magdalene, has her personal opinions about the Jesus caper.
If there is anything a whore with a heart of gold has got, it’s that she respects other people’s opinions about the Jesus story. When Jollybeggar wrote to Marcy (me) to offer his thoughts on Jesus Actors, I had to go check out Jolly’s blogspot. You know, equal billing for those who obey the word of God whether they are high, drunk or sober. All the time.
Look, Marcy (me) isn’t one of those small minded Northeast corridor liberals you hear so much about. Marcy (me) is a Midwest prostitute running a string of massage parlors in and around Chicago, with major affiliation with the infamous Chicago Outfit. My great great grandma ran a massage parlor for Big Jim Colosimo, back when massage parlors in the Levee District were called something else less nice. Being of broad mind and having a rear end men like to look at, Marcy (me) says that if you need God, go look for him. My guess is God is too busy to be going to look for you. So, here’s Jollybeggar’s blogspot for those who have time on their hands to go a’looking.
http://northvus.blogspot.com/ :This is a 'cyber small group' exploring life and faith. If you want to join the discussion on a more regular basis, just email jollybeggar64@hotmail.com and we'll make the circle bigger!
jollybeggar said to marcy...
i have four fabourite films about jesus. my all time fave is 'jesus of montreal' which has a group of method actors taking parts in a local passion play only to find their lives are becoming allegorical. next in line would be the mel gibson passion film- nuff said about that one. third would be 'the last temptation' which is based on an amazing book by nikos kazantzakis. finally, monty python's life of brian ("blessed are the cheesemakers?") which makes the others look like epics. music? no inspiring music in the first one. talked about the second already. the third has a soundtrack of world music by peter gabriel which is sublime- arguably his best work. the fourth has 'always look on the bright side of life'- guess i don't need to say any more!
marcythewhore advised Jollybeggar...
Nikos Kazantzakis's book pissed off a lot of priests. And that was before Scorsese got into the act. Yes, a true Greek classic. But I have to say that I have never seen a good 'Jesus' actor.You want to know why?Of course you want to know why Marcy feels the way she does.It's because no method actor ever accurately captured the ninja spirit of Jesus.
In other words, they've all been historically inaccurate.
Something like Fletcher Christian in the Mutiny on the Bounty.
This is how Jesus died: Those twenty some years before Jesus returned to the Holy Lands to throw himself on the cross for his cause, he'd been traveling in the Orient studying the ninja/samurai/yoga disciplines.When Jesus got nailed to the cross, he didn't grimace an iota. Cause Jesus could handle pain like a true yoga.
Remember that the Romans did not break Jesus's shinbones, as was customary. Breaking a crucified victim's shinbones insured that the victim was dead before the Roman guards headed for the comfort of their abodes. With the shins broken, the body weight suffocates the lungs and heart. Death. Release.
But Jesus performed the yogic trick of stopping his heart beat and his breathing. They thought he was dead. Hence, when Jesus was 'buried' there was no big problem for the resurrection scene.Now, when Marcythewhore sees the 'true' story of Jesus told on the silver screen, that's when Marcy gives credit to a Jesus actor......marcythewhore
We’re talking the worst method actors known to cinema: “A November Boston Globe review of Jesus Christ Superstar called the non-Equity show "so unspeakably awful it's enough to make a writer give up theater criticism forever and set up a shoeshine stand in the middle of a mudslide."
Anyways, here’s a partial list of Jesus Actors:
Willem Dafoe in The Last Temptation of Christ
James Caviezel in The Passion of the Christ
Jeremy Sisto in Jesus (made for tv)
Brian Deacon in Jesus (from '79)
Claude Heater in Ben-Hur
Kenneth Colley in Life of Brian
Ted Neeley in Jesus Christ Superstar
William Powell in Jesus Of Nazareth
Max Von Sydow in The Greatest Story Ever Told
H.B. Warner in The King Of Kings
Jeffrey Hunter in ‘The King of Kings’ (61)
Okay, as for what Marcy has to say about this list, Willem Dafoe also played the mad scientist in the Spiderman movie. Enough said there.
As theological discussions tend to go, the conversation evolved into ‘What really happened with Jesus’ with this crucifixion deal. Marcy, who happens to be a whore not unlike Mary Magdalene, has her personal opinions about the Jesus caper.
If there is anything a whore with a heart of gold has got, it’s that she respects other people’s opinions about the Jesus story. When Jollybeggar wrote to Marcy (me) to offer his thoughts on Jesus Actors, I had to go check out Jolly’s blogspot. You know, equal billing for those who obey the word of God whether they are high, drunk or sober. All the time.
Look, Marcy (me) isn’t one of those small minded Northeast corridor liberals you hear so much about. Marcy (me) is a Midwest prostitute running a string of massage parlors in and around Chicago, with major affiliation with the infamous Chicago Outfit. My great great grandma ran a massage parlor for Big Jim Colosimo, back when massage parlors in the Levee District were called something else less nice. Being of broad mind and having a rear end men like to look at, Marcy (me) says that if you need God, go look for him. My guess is God is too busy to be going to look for you. So, here’s Jollybeggar’s blogspot for those who have time on their hands to go a’looking.
http://northvus.blogspot.com/ :This is a 'cyber small group' exploring life and faith. If you want to join the discussion on a more regular basis, just email jollybeggar64@hotmail.com and we'll make the circle bigger!
jollybeggar said to marcy...
i have four fabourite films about jesus. my all time fave is 'jesus of montreal' which has a group of method actors taking parts in a local passion play only to find their lives are becoming allegorical. next in line would be the mel gibson passion film- nuff said about that one. third would be 'the last temptation' which is based on an amazing book by nikos kazantzakis. finally, monty python's life of brian ("blessed are the cheesemakers?") which makes the others look like epics. music? no inspiring music in the first one. talked about the second already. the third has a soundtrack of world music by peter gabriel which is sublime- arguably his best work. the fourth has 'always look on the bright side of life'- guess i don't need to say any more!
marcythewhore advised Jollybeggar...
Nikos Kazantzakis's book pissed off a lot of priests. And that was before Scorsese got into the act. Yes, a true Greek classic. But I have to say that I have never seen a good 'Jesus' actor.You want to know why?Of course you want to know why Marcy feels the way she does.It's because no method actor ever accurately captured the ninja spirit of Jesus.
In other words, they've all been historically inaccurate.
Something like Fletcher Christian in the Mutiny on the Bounty.
This is how Jesus died: Those twenty some years before Jesus returned to the Holy Lands to throw himself on the cross for his cause, he'd been traveling in the Orient studying the ninja/samurai/yoga disciplines.When Jesus got nailed to the cross, he didn't grimace an iota. Cause Jesus could handle pain like a true yoga.
Remember that the Romans did not break Jesus's shinbones, as was customary. Breaking a crucified victim's shinbones insured that the victim was dead before the Roman guards headed for the comfort of their abodes. With the shins broken, the body weight suffocates the lungs and heart. Death. Release.
But Jesus performed the yogic trick of stopping his heart beat and his breathing. They thought he was dead. Hence, when Jesus was 'buried' there was no big problem for the resurrection scene.Now, when Marcythewhore sees the 'true' story of Jesus told on the silver screen, that's when Marcy gives credit to a Jesus actor......marcythewhore
posted by marcythewhore at 9:47 AM
1 Comments:
wow- did i really say 'fabourite?'
nothing is more humbling than a well-intentioned typo!
the yogi-Jesus theory is interesting. i hadn't ever heard that one- definately not the daVinci code! what i really like is your phrase "the ninja spirit of Jesus." you nailed it there, i think (no really bad pun intended)
as for willem dafoe, thank God actors play roles, rather than live them (another plug for "Jesus of Montreal" yay!) because a bunch of the guys on this list have either taken bizarre/embarrassing parts somewhere along the way, or have never worked again...
ted neeley played 'curly' (the cowboy with a glove full of vaseline- which, until someone filled me in this year, i actually believed WAS to keep his hand 'soft for his wife')in the 70's version of "of mice and men"
max von sydow was 'brewmeister smith' (a deranged scientist who goes for global mind control by adding hallucinogens to canadian beer at oktoberfest)in bob and doug mckenzie's "strange brew" (major canadiana piece there)
jeffrey hunter went on to be commander pike in the "star trek" pilot, returning to the little screen in a recut version of it called "the menagerie"
there's probably many more great laughs we could have over the aesthetic folly/curse (it's kinda interesting that in casting the new superman, both jim C and willem D were not even considered because they had both already played JC. darned do-gooders!)
attached to playing Jesus- i just don't have my big fat cross-referenced movie book handy to go digging further.
i am just glad that malcolm mcdowell has never played the Christ (unless you include "a clockwork orange"- but that one's probably just conjecture) because i don't think that i could see "Caligula Christ" without becoming really uncomfortable.
as far as who is looking for whom, God knows where to find you and he's not too busy... cool thing is that ongoing discussions like these are part of how we find God. thanks for being part of my lifelong search.
and thanks for posting my blogspot. i imagine many more people read your blog than read mine!
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