‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ on a Mission From God…and the Da Vinci Code Painting Controversy
Pious from Peoria writes to Marcy: Dear Marcy, what do you think of Dan Brown’s assertion in his novel ‘The Da Vinci Code’ that in Da Vinci’s painting of the ‘Last Supper’ that the man sitting on Jesus’s right is really a woman, Mary Magdalene, Jesus’s wife?
Marcythewhore advises Pious in the Land of Lincoln: Dear Pious, she ain’t Julia Roberts in that painting, that’s for sure.
Before I get into art works I want to pin the blame for the phenomenon of the ‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ squarely on the shoulders of the Blues Brothers.
What was that famous line from the movie, “We’re on a mission from God!” That Dan Aykroyd promised John Belushi.
Ever since then the humorless ‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ couples of the world thought the Blues Brothers were talking directly to them.
You do know who the ‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ people are about, don’t you?
It always happens. You’re at a party or some gathering that has nothing to do with either politics or religion and into the room comes this almost lifelong composite couple who are doppelgangers of the inanimate Ken and Barbie dolls. Except these Born Again converted heroin addicts have grins from ear to ear (You can take the needle out of the arm of a Born Again but you can’t ever wipe that drug induced grin off their faces).
And like they are on a Mission from God espoused by the Blues Brothers themselves, ‘Ken and Barbie For Jesus’ just got to tell you about their religious afflicted political beliefs. No matter how many times you tell them you don’t give a shit. They go on like if the Peace Corp had more crucifixes to hand out to starving Pakistani children they’d of joined.
While Ken and Barbie Born Again are prattling on about Jesus in the White House, you can’t help but ask yourself a few intimate questions about these two.
Perceptions, you know!
Like, do these two ex-junkies still have sex with each other?
I mean, the Ken Doll For Jesus must have a very, very small penis.
While the Barbie Doll For Jesus must have a vaginal cavity the size of Carlsbad Cavern, for some metaphysically inexplicable reason. She couldn’t feel anything if he tried to penetrate her enormous yaw with his miniscule rod anyway. No chance of original sin from orgasm her on her part. She could use a bushel of vibrating apples from the Garden of Eden tree to get it on with.
As for your question about Dan Brown’s assertion that the guy sitting next to Jesus is really a woman, why not? So what if Da Vinci cross-dressed in the studio? Art experts say that the Mona Lisa is really Da Vinci without a beard. Big deal!
But I’ve got to say this much about the Virgin Mary Birth Canal legend the church has created. That Mary gave birth to the Son of God that spawned endless hours of Christmas shopping in Wal-Marts all around the world.
I’m not sure what image the church elders expected to implant in my mind with the enormity of the virgin birth thing.
But I have this image of the Virgin Mary having a womb the size of a Parisian train station…………….marcythewhore
Marcythewhore advises Pious in the Land of Lincoln: Dear Pious, she ain’t Julia Roberts in that painting, that’s for sure.
Before I get into art works I want to pin the blame for the phenomenon of the ‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ squarely on the shoulders of the Blues Brothers.
What was that famous line from the movie, “We’re on a mission from God!” That Dan Aykroyd promised John Belushi.
Ever since then the humorless ‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ couples of the world thought the Blues Brothers were talking directly to them.
You do know who the ‘Ken and Barbie Dolls For Jesus’ people are about, don’t you?
It always happens. You’re at a party or some gathering that has nothing to do with either politics or religion and into the room comes this almost lifelong composite couple who are doppelgangers of the inanimate Ken and Barbie dolls. Except these Born Again converted heroin addicts have grins from ear to ear (You can take the needle out of the arm of a Born Again but you can’t ever wipe that drug induced grin off their faces).
And like they are on a Mission from God espoused by the Blues Brothers themselves, ‘Ken and Barbie For Jesus’ just got to tell you about their religious afflicted political beliefs. No matter how many times you tell them you don’t give a shit. They go on like if the Peace Corp had more crucifixes to hand out to starving Pakistani children they’d of joined.
While Ken and Barbie Born Again are prattling on about Jesus in the White House, you can’t help but ask yourself a few intimate questions about these two.
Perceptions, you know!
Like, do these two ex-junkies still have sex with each other?
I mean, the Ken Doll For Jesus must have a very, very small penis.
While the Barbie Doll For Jesus must have a vaginal cavity the size of Carlsbad Cavern, for some metaphysically inexplicable reason. She couldn’t feel anything if he tried to penetrate her enormous yaw with his miniscule rod anyway. No chance of original sin from orgasm her on her part. She could use a bushel of vibrating apples from the Garden of Eden tree to get it on with.
As for your question about Dan Brown’s assertion that the guy sitting next to Jesus is really a woman, why not? So what if Da Vinci cross-dressed in the studio? Art experts say that the Mona Lisa is really Da Vinci without a beard. Big deal!
But I’ve got to say this much about the Virgin Mary Birth Canal legend the church has created. That Mary gave birth to the Son of God that spawned endless hours of Christmas shopping in Wal-Marts all around the world.
I’m not sure what image the church elders expected to implant in my mind with the enormity of the virgin birth thing.
But I have this image of the Virgin Mary having a womb the size of a Parisian train station…………….marcythewhore
posted by marcythewhore at 10:49 AM
3 Comments:
a friend of mine said one time that 'your theology has to have a face.' i think what he meant was that if the bible-toters (and you can get really discreet bibles now that hardly take up any room in the breast pocket of your jacket- but it's not how big it is, it's how you use it, right?)want anybody to listen when they speak, they have to be listening when others do.
instead, you have this situation where the sociopolitical wallflowers suddenly hear their favourite song and start racing around trying to dance with everyone at the party (who, quite frankly, would just as soon be dancing with someone that they've spent at least the evening getting to know)and wondering why people keep failing to respond.
policies and politics do change lives, but sharing your face with people in real time even when there is no song to dance to is a lot better for the actual realization of the Jesus dream found in matt 28 (where the actual affiliated mission from God is spelled out.)that's probably what he meant when he said 'go out.'
thus endeth the sermon. let us pray...
;-)
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all this pontification about face to face relationships from a guy that blogs under a pseudonym borrowed from c.s. lewis and has, as his profile portrait, a stone face from easter island?
yeah, i know... just thought i'd point out the obvious, marcy.
-jb
(http://e-pistles.blogspot.com/2005/02/dancing-sheep.html
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