Dr. Fleon Sunoco
"The first story Trout had to rewrite after the timequake zapped him back to 1991, he told me, was called 'Dog's Breakfast'. It was about a mad scientist named Fleon Sunoco, who was doing research at the National Institute of Health in Bethseba, Maryland. Dr. Sunoco believed really smart people had little radio receivers in their heads, and were getting their bright ideas from somewhere else.
'The smarties had to be getting outside help,' Trout said to me at Xanadu. While impersonating the mad Sunoco, Trout himself seemed convinced that there was a great big computer somewhere, which by means of radio, had told Pythagoras about right triangles, and Newton about gravity, and Darwin about evolution, and Pasteur about germs, and Einstein about relativity, and on and on."
'That computer, wherever it is, whatever it is, while pretending to help us, may actually be trying to kill us dummies with too much to think about,' said Kilgore Trout...
"For the record: Dr. Fleon Sunoco at the NIH, who is independantly rich, hires grave robbers to bring him the brains of deceased memebers of Mensa, a nationwide club for persons with high Intelligence Quotas, or IQs, as determined by standardized tests of verbal and nonverbal skills, tests which put the testees against the Joe and Jane Sixpacks..."
His ghouls also bring him brains of people who died in really stupid accidents, crossing busy streets against the light, starting charcoal fires at cookouts with gasoline, and so on, for comparison. So as not to arouse suspiscion, they deliver the fresh brains one at a time in buckets stolen from a nearby Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. Needless to say, Sunoco's supervisors have no idea what he's really doing when he works late night after night.
"They do notice how much he liked fried chicken, aparently, ordering it by the bucket, and that he never offers anyody else some...
"At night, though, with nobody around, he slices up high-IQ brains, looking for little radios. He doesn't think Mensa members had them inserted surgically. He thinks they were born with them, so the receivers have to be made of meat. Sunoco has written in his secret journal: 'There is no way an unassisted human brain, which is nothing more than a dog's breakfast, three and a half pounds of blood-soaked sponge, could have written 'Stardust', let alone Beethoven's Ninth Symphony."
-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, from Timquake
'The smarties had to be getting outside help,' Trout said to me at Xanadu. While impersonating the mad Sunoco, Trout himself seemed convinced that there was a great big computer somewhere, which by means of radio, had told Pythagoras about right triangles, and Newton about gravity, and Darwin about evolution, and Pasteur about germs, and Einstein about relativity, and on and on."
'That computer, wherever it is, whatever it is, while pretending to help us, may actually be trying to kill us dummies with too much to think about,' said Kilgore Trout...
"For the record: Dr. Fleon Sunoco at the NIH, who is independantly rich, hires grave robbers to bring him the brains of deceased memebers of Mensa, a nationwide club for persons with high Intelligence Quotas, or IQs, as determined by standardized tests of verbal and nonverbal skills, tests which put the testees against the Joe and Jane Sixpacks..."
His ghouls also bring him brains of people who died in really stupid accidents, crossing busy streets against the light, starting charcoal fires at cookouts with gasoline, and so on, for comparison. So as not to arouse suspiscion, they deliver the fresh brains one at a time in buckets stolen from a nearby Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. Needless to say, Sunoco's supervisors have no idea what he's really doing when he works late night after night.
"They do notice how much he liked fried chicken, aparently, ordering it by the bucket, and that he never offers anyody else some...
"At night, though, with nobody around, he slices up high-IQ brains, looking for little radios. He doesn't think Mensa members had them inserted surgically. He thinks they were born with them, so the receivers have to be made of meat. Sunoco has written in his secret journal: 'There is no way an unassisted human brain, which is nothing more than a dog's breakfast, three and a half pounds of blood-soaked sponge, could have written 'Stardust', let alone Beethoven's Ninth Symphony."
-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, from Timquake
posted by marcythewhore at 1:57 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home