Suicide is not for amateurs

marcy says: Suicide is supposed to be painless. It's definitely not for amateurs. All the same, a while back I posted a comment or two about Erica the exhbitionist who has a blogspot about her sex life. Erica posted a goodbye. She said she had fallen in love and she was giving hereself to this one man and she was not going to share her sex life with the world.

Yeah, right.

Marcy (me) kept Eric's blogspot link simply because an exhibitionist can say goodbye, but she can't stay away. That's why she's an exhibitionist.

Erica is back to let us know that her love life is going to hell in a hand basket, and she wants to keep on loving this guy who is torturing her, and she tried to commit suicide.

So, I am posting Erica's message to the world.............marcythewhore




http://ericalooking.blogspot.com/

Friday, January 20, 2006

An open letter to the staff at the hospital Sunday night.
Dear intake paperwork nurse: I don’t know why you acted surprised when someone came stumbling into your little glass walled enclosure, slurring their speech and mumbling about taking too many pills and not wanting to die… but you really should try harder to cover your reaction.Doctor: I know you have taken an oath to support and protect life, and you probably spend most of your days helping people who didn’t try to hurt themselves - who were sick through no fault of their own – but you really should hide your disdain for me JUST a little bit. I changed my mind – I didn’t want to die… I came for help.

To the amateur vampire phlebotomist: Every time I donate blood the tech practically salivates at how easy my veins are to find. No one has ever had a problem, yet you had to stick my arm twice and the top of my hand 3 times before you could seat the frigging IV shunt. I am now EXTREMELY bruised and was in discomfort all night. Go back to school and learn the art of needle sticking properly.To the makers of charcoal for oral administration. After tasting and choking down 12 ounces of that black paste, I almost changed my mind about wanting to live. Invest in some flavoring. To the people who make the adhesives on the backs of the little 3M moitoring pads – do you really have to make it industrial strength? 5 days later I’m still trying to scrub it off my skin. And even nail polish remover won’t cut it.

To the psych nurse and ward, thank you for your concern, but your inability to understand the fact that I can’t just disappear for a weeks voluntary stay at an inpatient treatment center did not make my night any easier. I know you were just covering your asses, but come on.And thank you, to my monsterously jealous, just as crazy as I am, vindictive boyfriend. It hurt so bad to have you realize I lied to you, even though you lied to me, 1000 times worse and more often. But you know, I swallowed those pills because I didn’t want to conceive of life without you. I still don’t. It’s crazy, I know – but we’re both getting help and treatment. Let’s make it work. I love you.