Heartless Bitches Hall of Fame

This Week's Real-Life Heartless Bitches:
The comments on these pages should not be construed as "Whining" - these are the "Reasons" why our members have been labelled "Heartless Bitches". If you ever wanted to know what makes a woman a Heartless Bitch, you'll find it here.
(Updated December 13, 1998)
Heartless Hall of Fame: Women who personify the True Spirit of HBI
Sarah - "It's not the caffeine, it's the misogyny I can't stand."
Kate - "what?....OH, I'm sorry...please tell me, at what point did I give you the mistaken impression that I fucking care."
Lisa - "A man who is assertive, straightforward, individualistic, independent, self-sufficient, confident, outspoken about his opinions, and so forth, is considered great, while a woman who displays the exact same qualities is considered a bitch. PUT ME IN THE BITCH CLUB!!!"
Sara - "Don't accept - THINK!"
Bethdog - "I don't spawn, but I do swim upstream."
Naomi - "Power belongs to the creative, not to thugs: you don't have to be strong enough to turn a tyre lever, just smart enough to jump on one."
Niko - "If you want something sweet you can go be amorous with a girl scout cookie, otherwise I have some better uses for that mouth of yours."
Melissa - "I am where I am today because someone like you told me I couldn't do it."
Sarah - "What are you waiting for? An Invitation?"
Kelly - "No sweetheart, I'm not a cunt. I'm the bitch who owns it."
Griselda - "What makes you think you've got power over me, when you're head's up your ass and you really can't see, I am who I am and that's the way it'll be, get out of my face, 'cause my mind is free. And If you can't think before you just do, don't assume it's ok to run out and sue, when you step in the shit, clean it off your own shoe, don't blame someone else when the problem is you."
Carole - "Love me, Loathe me, or Leave me alone!"
Ravenmyst - "Now THAT'S a penal offense!"
Jen - "It's mind over matter, I don't mind, because you don't matter!!"
Maude - "Paths were created for those without a machete."
Stephanie - "That's okay honey, SOMEONE'S got to work at McDonalds."
Misty - "Remember, in the road of life, you're just a speed bump with a dick (and I've got pretty good shocks)."
Meg - "There are very few careers in the world that require you to have a dick."
Jean - "There is nothing wrong with asking for the respect I deserve. There is something wrong when I don't get it."
Morgana - "I just LOVE the way you take all that sexual frustration, and turn it into humor!"
Lisa - "For some wimps, words just don't fit 'em. If they where a juice I'd spit 'em"
Natalie - "I am a line of fishing wire around your balls; if you push, I pull."
Tammra - "I'm not a bitch because I'm wrong; I'm a bitch because I'm right and you don't want to admit it."
Cassandra - "Life's too short and so is your dick!"
Helen - "I don't date because I haven't met a man interesting enough for me to buy his dinner."
Glenda - "I'll feed a stray DOG, but I won't sleep with one!"
Sharon - "If it has wheels or testicles, it will be high maintenance and probably drive you crazy."
Stacy - "Life might treat you like shit but I don't have to hear about it!!"
Leighanne - "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
Lynne - "Anyone who doesn't have a sense of humor needs a lobotomy. Or an enema. Whichever."
Jaclyn - "I have PMS and a gun; any questions?"
Helen - "Appalachia is the only place that I'd date ya, you inbred excuse for a human being!"
Michelle - "Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, That's all I seem to do about you!"
Julie - "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller"
Valerie - "You get what you settle for."
Monica - "If I wanted to spend all my time with a child, I'd adopt."
Kristine - "Hey buddy, if your penis is as big as your ego, we're both in good shape!"
Val - "Bitch, not just a word......A way of life!"
Sara - "I know I'm not the first one to call you stupid today."
Jan - "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."
Silver - "You may have the dick Ken, but I'm Barbie on Steroids."
Kristy - "Why don't you get your ear pierced so you know what it feels like to have a stud screwing around in your ear!"
Patricia - "I do my own stunts, I drive myself home, enough said."
Herculena - "I'm a Heartless Bitch because I refuse to feel sorry for idiots."
Martha - "All decisions have consequences. Live with 'em -- and shut the hell up."
Amy - "Ma, can I be a Feminist and still like men? Sure...just like you can be a vegetarian and still like fried chicken." --Nicole Hollander
Eileen - "I've come so far, I now come alone!"
Marcy - "I'm not here to make your dick feel good!"
Laurie - "I'm on a roll here - don't even try to stop me."
Jamie - "It's not PMS, I just hate you."
Cherri - "Been there; done that; got the T-shirt to prove it, asshole! So trade in your testosterone for some gray matter."
Greg - "Excuses are like assholes. Everybody's got one, and they all stink. So shut up already."
Clarke - "Go ahead, have a pissing contest. I can strap one on with the best of them."
Sylvia - "Go lie by your bowl."
Judi - "Get a life and a clue and move on!"
Carla - "If I wanted something disgusting in my mouth, I'd take up smoking!"
Jenn - "You're not making any measurable spikes on the "I care" meter."
Caireen - "Well, if you're going to act like a doormat, then you're going to end up looking like shit!"
Erin - "I enjoy my own company, and as far as you are concerned, frankly, my dear, I'M OVER IT!"
Stephanie - "I have an icepick in my pocket and I'm not afraid to use it!"
Kelly-jien - "I'll be the first to admit I'm a real life bitch!"
Deb - "I am not here to win a popularity contest. If you don't like it, take it to your Congressman. I don't give a rat's ass."
Vixen1965 - "You don't want to be the one to push me over the edge!!"
Bonnie - "Your interest in my sex life is much more perverted than my sex life. Get your own, if you can..."
Agneta - "How come so many people see it as their mission in life, to be a living proof of how NOT to live Your life?"
Alicia - "You think Life is a bitch, honey?? You just met ME...give it time and you'll appreciate the finer things Life has to offer."
Hilary - "Girl? Here's a quarter...give me a call when YOU grow up!"
Erin - "Keep it in your pants, asshole!"
Kay - "I wait until the guy shoves his hands down my pants without asking before I tell him I'm on the rag."
Reved - "I am not only a BITCH - I am a damn successful one and proud of it!!"
Elena - "Real Life is for those people whose intellect and ambition go beyond what they're going to wear on Saturday night and what colour they're going to paint their nails."
Katie - "I don't have an attitude problem, it's SUPPOSED to be like this!"
Sheila - "I have seen more interesting things growing in my fridge than you."
Stephanie - "#$%^ his mother....I can't stand a mama's boy."
Lia - "The wheel's turning but the hamster's dead. (in reference to a doubtful IQ level) or.. smart like a box of hair. (both not mine, unfortunately, but gorgeous nonetheless!)"
Marianne - "I'm really sweet, kind and innocent, so fuck off."
Jennifer - "Yeah, that's a gun in my pocket asshole. Can I use your balls as a target?"
Carol - "Hey bozo! my sign is DO NOT ENTER..."
Susan - "Having breasts does not equal having no brains."
Pamela - "I am a bitch goddess because I choose to be!"
Kellie - "A great philosopher once said, "I think, therefore I am." Therefore, my friend, you do not exist."
Pamela - "If you can't say something nice about someone, come sit next to me"
Melody - "Yes, I have balls...I collect them from the men I meet who aren't using theirs!"
Laura - "I will not allow any man to use me like a dish rag."
Jen - "What in the hell are YOU looking at??"
Jo-ann - "Bitch is not something I do. It's something I am!"
Maia - "Bitchiness isn't a state of mind....it's a way of life."
Rachael - "Bitch Goddess...and THAT is from my son!!"
Laurali - "My temper matches my hair. As I get older, it gets redder!!"
Betsy - "If you want to keep that damn thing attached, then put it back inside your pants!"
Charlotte - "I live my life as an exclamation, not an explanation."
Nikki - "I have this one little nasty attribute that makes having sex with you impossible: taste."
Elizabeth - "When I am President of the Women's United States Of America (geographically equivalent to the current U.S.) all women will immediately be issued a gun for self-protection, rape will be a capital crime punishable immediately (see above) and all insurance will cover payments for medicinal chocolate. And if you don't like it, MOVE!"
Nancy - "Live hard, play harder: Simple recipe for a life worth living."
Lynne - "I'm a cold-hearted bitch... but I'm very good at it!"
Bobby - "I wasn't born to put the toilet seat down for you."
Becky - "Some people are good excuses for birth control."
Donna - "Being a "bitch" means having the "balls" to have your cake & eat it too!"
Prufrock - "When the horse is dead, dismount."
Anna - "My paranoia rarely keeps up with reality."
Lindsay - "You want forgiveness? friendship? Sure, I'll always keep a special place in my heart for the gathering of wasted, unintelligent skin attached to a penis--YOU."
Lauren - "Men are from earth, women are from earth DEAL WITH IT!!"
Warbride - "I also have a set of balls- they're large- they're brass- they hang off my belt and I don't need an athletic cup to support them"
Amber - "People are such cute sheep aren't they? *sigh* I guess someone must be the leader....make sure they don't all kill themselves."
Demoniaque - "Don't call me a bitch, just because I am not interested in your shallowness or giving you a never-ending pity party - kissing ass is a chore for me......and dammit, I hate toiling."
Rosie - "Is THAT what I'm supposed to be "envious" of?"
Stephanie - "Ginger danced everything Fred did, but she did it backwards and in high heels!"
Priscillia - "If men had egos as big as their penises, imagine how many happy women there would be."
Sherry - "You're NOT fat, but your head seems to be..."
Sheila - "Some women are so dumb, if I wasn't one I'd quit!"
Tibor - "If it don't kill you ...it'll make you stronger."
Lily - "I may sound brutal but honesty is always the best policy."
Ramyss - "I'm fairly easy to get along with most of the time, but I don't like bullies, I don't like threats, and I don't like you!" Kathryn Janeway.
Averah - "I am a woman. If I wanted an infant in my life right now, I would give birth to one, not date one!"
Carine - "Just because I don't like YOU doesn't mean I'm a man-hating bitch, YOU USELESS SCUM!"
Julie - "whiners ------> out the door."
Alicia - "I learned how to be a Bitch from the best: my mother."
Deborah - "We should wear the name BITCH as a badge of honor."
Jo - "Don't whine to me, life's tough. Suck it up."
Kimberley - "Kiss my well toned yoga butt."
Rebel - "Why are men more intelligent after sex?...'cause they've just plugged into a genius!"
Valarie - "Sorry, Honey, I already have a doormat!"
Nikki - "Bitch? You bet I am!"
Leanne - "I'm not a man-hater. In fact, I love men: how they look, how they feel. It's just when they open their mouths that they ruin the whole effect."
Randi-lee - "To some I am a dream, to others a nightmare. Guess which one I am for you."
Brenda - "Goodness has nothing to do with it."
Yvette - "The only time a woman succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby."
Kristin - "Man, you may be a dog and I may be a bitch, but get your nose out of my ass!"
Lori - "If I scare you I'm glad, now get out of my way."
Tricia - "The more I learn about men, the more I like my dog (and she's dead)."
Debbie - "I was married, but now I just lease...."
Vendetta - "Are you a record?...'cause baby, you keep playing yourself!"
Cindy - "I will survive, I will get by"
Mistress - "When you are young, you are a bitch...when you are old you are just difficult."
Angela - "Yes. I'm the best thing that ever happened to you, and now that we're apart you life WILL only get worse. You never could have kept up with my future anyway!"
Tory - "Spectimur Agendo (Latin for we are judged by our deeds). In other words: Don't just sit there, DO something!"
Joelle - "Fat Girls RULE !"
Dale - "The daughters of lions are lions too."
Tricia - "A dead king is a replaced king."
Pam - "What do you call a woman with an angelic husband?...A Widow :+)"
Patricia - "Fake bitches are secure even in their doubt. Real bitches doubt even their doubt."
Sarah - "I have no pity for the flake who cries and whines all day about her problems and does nothing about it"
Anna - "Keep up or get out the way!!"
Seana - "[Best when said to a hulking Himbo (tm)]: Your ego's getting pretty big; if you're not careful, someone's gonna poke your "I" out."
Tamarralynn - "If you want sympathy find a pity-party.. Get over it-I am.."
Rachael - "Sorry I didn't live down to your pathetic expectations."
Brenda - "Don't call me lollipop, because I'm not a SUCKER!"
Andrea - "Every man is his own hell - and mine too!"
Victoria - "Come on over here and give me a kiss/ Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed. --Salt N Pepa, "Push It". To All The Assholes: Oh, and yes, I'd much rather masturbate than give you the pleasure of having me."
Lisa - "To bitch is a right, to be a Bitch is a privilege."
Ryn - "I have no patience with stupid people, I think that abortion should be legal up until the age of 35."
Alicia - "I know you think I don't understand, and I really am trying to see things from your point of view...I just can't get my head that far up my ass."
Michelle - "Go and lay down by your dish."
Countrygirl-21 - "It's not the world pissing me off. It's the assholes in the world that piss me off."
Debbie - "I don't give a shit and I don't take it either."
Laurie - "Put up or shut up."
Helen - "YEAH YEAH YEAH. So who hasn't?"
Kathy - "If you're not the lead dog, you know where your nose will be!"
Hilary - "I've been a bitch since I was born and I'll be one until I die!"
Stephanie - "He says, 'I love you, you're my soul', I say, 'pshhh, WHATEVER, AS IF...'"
Belinda - "You can lead a horticulture; but you can't make her think. (Dorothy Parker)"
Priscilla - "I'll be me and do as I want, think or believe regardless of what you ASSHOLES have to say."
Hollyann - "Never take life seriously, Nobody gets out alive anyway."
Diana - "I knew then when the pain was its greatest, that there was no God known to man that cared about children, or about women. And that the God of woman is autonomy." - Alice Walker
Catherine - "Yeah you'll be the master....the master-bater."
Jamee - "Take 20 aspirins and you'll feel better, if you wake up."
Suzanne - "If Vibrators could buy drinks we wouldn't need men!"
Pat - "All men need is a hole in a tree. Save the Trees, keep them busy and out of our hair."
Autum - "You sound reasonable. It must be time to increase my medication."
Michelle - "I don't have patience for ignorant bastards with penis problems in the work place. I know just as much and obviously more than your fuck ass."
Sandy - "Here's a quarter, buy yourself a clue, dick-smash."
Robin - "Could you possibly get a spine? Buy one if you have to! Now use it!"
Karien - "Get your own life and stay out of mine!"
Spider - "It's your life, don't waste it adoring a dick!!"
Steve - "Do not mistake feces for love, flush the toilet instead."
Helen - "If I wanted to be your Mommy, sweetheart, then I'd be doing your father!"
Leslie - "If you need space that badly, asshole, go be an astronaut."
Tammy - "I choose to be myself, and not in the stereotypical role of the victim for the rest of my life."
Andrea - "Oral sex?! I'll give you oral sex when you can look at a playboy and not get a hard on."
Tara - "I'm not your jock strap, so I don't have to be supportive."
Rene - "I WON'T take your shit, so TAKE your shit and go away."
Rita - "Someone who doesn't care about my needs isn't worth my time."
K-t - "In response to some troglodyte male asking me if it's my time of the month: NO, is it YOURS?"
Erika - Maggie Estep expresses my sentiments best: "I don't have anything against men - just stupid men."
Tina - "You can call me a Bitch but I think I'm just assertive!!"
Amanda - "Did you just call me a bitch? Thank you. All my attempts to piss people off are working."
Donna - "This is not a soap opera, a play, or a romance novel.....this is reality. WAKE UP ALREADY!"
Caren - "This is an A-B conversation, honey....You're C so SEE your stupid ass out!"
Teresa - "If you put your arm around me one more time, I'll break it off and shove it up your ass."
Debbie - "And I should care about this because?"
Stormy - "I hate it for ya.."
Daniel - "Sorry, as in life you were born alone, and if you are talking to me in 25 seconds you will leave this world that way..."
Liz - "Eve was framed."
Rashiel - "To all the men who have ever talked down to or treated a woman less than a God... BEND OVER AND LEMME BREAK IT OFF!"
Heather - "If you don't like my attitude, just try and give me a new one!"
Lisa - "Life is a buffet, if you don't like what's on your plate, you can always go and try something else!"
Niki - "Shut up and stop thinking with the wrong head before I'm forced to castrate your pencil dick with a rusty spoon."
Rhonda - "I do NOT owe you sex. Here is some lotion, go sit in the corner."
Erin - "Women do not have to act like an airhead to attract a guy, so stop it."
Amber - "Most men believe that they are a genius with big old penius."
Rachael - When someone says, "it MUST be that time of the month," I reply with, "maybe for you, but I'm fine dickhead!"
Pamela - "My knowledge is no match for your ignorance!"
Leslie - "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - YOU!"
Connie - "Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there myself!!"
Charley - "God is coming, and is she pissed!"
Faith - "If I was a man, I would hate me too."
Maria - "Egotistical penises, control freaks, shallow bimbos, and stereotypical mother-in-laws should render themselves to Satan and burn in hell!"
M.mckinney - "I can solve the school discipline problem with a rooftop and an AK-47 - call me...I work cheap!"
Kelly - "They just don't understand why I point and giggle!"
B. - "I've never been so in love that a box of Duracells couldn't cure!"
Kim - "The truth sucks! If you don't want it, then don't ask me the question."
Debra - "If the Lord had intended for me to be submissive, he would have permanently bent my knees!"
Kimberly - "How can you be done, I just got in bed!"
Stephanie - "I never claimed to be a lady, so go over there and do what you're supposed to do. Leave me alone !"
Debra - "I believe every adult male should be required by law to wear a full- size color photo of his erect penis on his forehead at all times - that would eliminate 98% of the posturing bullshit we all must endure, and, in time, possibly contribute substantially to world peace!"
Rachel - "I wouldn't walk across the street to spit on you if you were burning to death..."
Raine - "Mistreat it, you'll never see it!"
Ebony - "My daily prayer: God, give me the strength to drag the bodies of all the people I had to kill today because they pissed me off."
Jade - "Maturity is directly related to a person's capacity for honest self-assessment, and their ability to act on that knowledge."
Bec - "You are more irritating than thrush."
Angelica - "People who try to put me in my place never seem to understand why I come out on top."
Danielle - "I want the kind of man who can say the alphabet without having to sing the song."
Daudij - "If no one else existed, I would be the nicest person in the world."
Jacquie - "I'll get on my knees when you get on your elbows."
Christina - "BITCH also means Boys, I'm Taking Charge Here!!"
Jenny - "Life is too short to be nice!"
Carrie - "I'm sorry, I don't need you I already have an asshole!"
Robyn - "No one is giving out medals for masochism!"
Jess - "Why are men are born with two heads, yet only enough blood to think with one at a time?"
Pam - "I can either GIVE ulcers or GET them, and I'd MUCH rather give them!"
Shannon - "Touch my ass one more time and I'll take a cheese grater to your Adam's apple."
Sherri - "Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity...and I'm not sure about the universe (a. Einstein)"
Carla - "Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
Jen - "Does that vacant look come naturally, or do you have to practice in front of the mirror? 'Cause you've got it down to a science, girl."
Debbie - "Don't push, don't invade, those are my jobs!"
Leslye - "They just hate me 'cause they AIN'T me!"
Traci - "Thanks, I needed that, now take your limp dick and go home!"
Christian - "If brains were dynamite, most men wouldn't have enough to blow their stack."
Robin - "If you walk the walk, I'll walk with you forever. If you just talk the talk, I'm deaf."
Barbara - "I don't "owe" you anything."
Maryjane - "I have been accused of having balls the size of King Kong's, to which I reply "Who the hell needs balls?"
Alexa - "I am what I am and I have no desire to be what you are."
Bridgett - "If it works it's good."
Cher - "The sexier I feel the meaner I get!"
Stephanie - "I love to see greedy people disappointed."
Reena - "...And I hate evil hairdos"
Shannon - "My children call me the Bitch of GET IT DONE... Help?: Sender IP: 12.5.241.5 Name: ilil dania Email : hanihani@usa.net UserID : hanihani URL : Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch: Girly nice girls irritate me more than mosquitoes. One Liner: With that IQ, don't even think of looking at me!"
Rasta - "I am such a cold-Heartless Bitch I will make you wish you were in HELL!"
Erin - "How much do you have to say to get an idiot interested?"
Jen - "IF I am a bitch...then why do I constantly catch you drinking out of the toilet?"
Anne-marie - "I've crapped out better stuff than you!"
Tracey - "If I want your opinion, I'll rattle your cage."
Anke - "You want your partner to be obedient, true and thankful every time you pay for her food? Ever thought about getting a dog?"
Jaster - "Nemo Me Impune Lacessit (No one provokes me with impunity)"
Mary - "Do you see "give a fuck" in these eyes?????"
Melanie - "When you lie down like a doormat, expect to be walked on."
Melissa - "A bitch is not born nor created, she is self-made."
Susanne - "ALWAYS remember that I really mean it when I say "NO, I'm not interested". If you don't you'll soon be a head shorter. Do you want to know which head?"
Molly - "When some one tries to impune my integrity by calling me a bitch, I respond: "Thank you, it has taken me 28 years to obtain that goal."
Kat - "Lead, Follow, or Get Out Of The Way."
Faith - "There are two kinds of women in the world...those who want power in the world and those who want power in bed"
Sindy - "Take an Aeronautical fornication at a motivating pastry! ie,..Take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut..."
Bailey - "Life is a martini, and I am the olive."
Jamey - "The things some folks do with their brains astounds me! (i.e. hat rack, drug repository, air catcher, the list goes on and on)"
Kelly - "There is only one thing worse then a spineless man...and that's a spineless fraction of a female."
Ruth - "I'm not here to sit around and be looked at like an object. I'm here to use my mind, my ability, and my power. Why not stop whining about how much your life sucks and do something?"
Robin - "I know you're an asshole, but you're not mine, so GET OFF ME!"
Leila - "That himbo may not be as pretty when I get done, but he'll have a new religion."
Astro - "DIAMONDS" are a girl's best friend, and a "DOG" is a man's best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.
Shelley - "For every asshole out there (which there are many) I can find you an equal bitch out there that will not put up with their shit."
Skerry - "Put your dick away."
Heidi - "Idiots like you are the reason abortion will NEVER be outlawed. Pity your mother was not aware it was legal."
Yes! I want to Read about more "Real Life Heartless Bitches"