Marcy's (me) joke of the week: The Rectum Stretcher

marcythewhore says: Jimi deserves a free massage for sending me this joke. Oh, Jimi. Don't get that look on your face. Marcythewhore's Chain of Chicago Based Massage Parlors don't do nothing for free.

But I'll do something else for you, Jimi. I'll send you a copy of my new book, "How to Fantasize Getting a Free Massage at Marcy's While Having a Happy Ending." The joke is appreciated...........marcythewhore

THE RECTUM STRETCHER!

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over thelimit), a >woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, andwith that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's yourhurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does arectumstretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way upto two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I workfrom side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surelystretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00Court Costs. $45.00The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS

Marcy Teaches a Lesson About Guillotines and Sexual Perversion

marcy thewhore wrote:
Existentialism's sick black humor: The Marquis du Sade lived an interesting life in many ways. Including the time Sade spent in prison.

Jean-Paul Marat prepared to sign Sade's death warrant. Marat decided to send Sade to the Guillotine.

Guess what happened? Marat mispelled Sade's name. He spelled it la Salle instead. So la Salle went to the Guillotine before Marat realized the error.

Guess what else?

Before Marat could sign another death warrant, this time spelling Sade's name right, Marat was assassinated in his bath tub by a woman.

There's a lesson to be learned from all this.

Sexual perversion wins out over Guillotines, and Guillotines is not a good way to experience auto-erotic asphyxiation.........marcythewhore

Marquis de SadeMarquis de Sade published erotic writings, that gave rise to the term sadism ...Sade: A Sudden Abyss by Annie Le Brun (1990); Le Mariage du marquis de Sade ...www.kirjasto.sci.fi/desade.htm - 16k - Jul 18, 2005 - Cached - Similar pages

Guillotine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Nazis employed it extensively: twenty guillotines were in use in Germany and (from 1938) in Austria. They added a unique twist: the condemned persons ...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillotine - 22k - Cached - Similar pages

Marcy Gets Offensive News From the Brown Shirts

Marcythewhore says: When the Brown Shirt Christians send me news of offensive and pornographic material, I spread offensive and pornographic material around so everyone....and I mean everyone......can enjoy offensive and pornographic material. Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)

This offensive and pornographic material is an ad for Tylenol for Gay Men...Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)

Be forewarned, when you click on this site Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive) you will see offensive and pornographic material.

So, if you click on this site Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive) be prepared for really titillating stuff.

Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive) Be careful if you click on this site more than once................marcythewhore

Here is the warning of offensive and pornographic material:

You will not believe this ad by Johnson & Johnson

Dear Christians,
Johnson & Johnson has placed an ad for its Tylenol PM product in the July 19 issue of The Advocate, the nation's leading homosexual magazine.
The ad shows two shirtless men in bed side by side. The text over one reads: "His backache is keeping him up." Over the other: "His boyfriend's backache is keeping him up."
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)
Click here to see a copy of the ad. (Be warned, it is offensive)

Marcythewhore Becomes MarcytheDoGooder

MarcytheDoGoodingWhore says: Look at the ‘Do Gooding’ I’m doing, from me, a little old whore who humbly owns a chain of Chicago based massage parlors:

“Marci inadvertently gave me the idea for the "Hate Site of the Day", when she posted "Militant Homos Hack Christians to Pieces", from the REPENT AMERICA,”

It all started when Marcy (me) began telling all you guys about Cynthia Plaster Caster, the reformed groupie who has plaster casts of Jimi Hendrix’s penis (among zillions of other rock star’s cocks).

Next thing you know ‘Ol Jed’s a Millionaire’ and Marcy (me) has become the inspiration for an anti-hate group.

Well, if that isn’t a Happy Ending I don’t know what is………….marcythewhore

A letter from an admirer of Marcythewhore and Cynthia Plaster Caster:

Hi Cynthia -
As an ex-hippie, (now a Lawyer), from the 60's and 70's I really enjoyed your site, Cynthia Plaster Caster it's a hoot and quite a flashback. Reminded of the Banger Sisters and Almost Famous, but while those are films, you're obviously the real deal.
Coming to your site is quite a cultural cognitive dissidence from where I've been earlier today.
I just started 2 new Yahoo Groups to fight hate on the web, Group-Watch@yahoogroups.com and one of your fellow devotees, "marcy thewhore" had a link from her blog, http://marcythewhore.blogspot.com/ "Sex In A Refrigerator" to your site, so I had to check it out.
Marci inadvertently gave me the idea for the "Hate Site of the Day", when she posted "Militant Homos Hack Christians to Pieces", from the REPENT AMERICA, http://www.repentamerica.com/index.php site. After posting in my new anti-hate group, about how the "poor Christians were attacked", I had to check Marci out, which lead to Sex In The Frig", which in turn led to you.
Repent America is about as far from your site, sexually philosophically speaking as one could ever get. All I can say is, I know I'd rather spend time with you and Marci, then those Repent America Folks.
Thanks for the day brightener!
Dann Dobson dddobson69@yahoo.com Saint Paul

Sex in a Refrigerator

Marcythewhore says: When having sex in a refrigerator always turn out the light..................

Exploding Dog Versus Tasered Dog Versus Asian Suicide Bomber Versus Releasing the Dove of Peace Versus Hockey Players in Lust Versus Mad Cow Disease Versus The Tuna Wars Versus Westinghouse the War Machine


THE EXPLODING DOG:
http://www.zombi.dk/video/050.php

VERSUS

TASERED DOG

http://crazyshit.com/dc.php?type=5&cid=6148&pg=index

VERSUS


ASIAN SUICIDE BOMBERStupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. This one happens to be a idiot wit...[view now]

VERSUS

RELEASING THE DOVE OF PEACE
http://crazyshit.com/dc.php?type=5&cid=6144&pg=index


VERSUS

HOCKEY PLAYERS IN LUST
http://crazyshit.com/dc.php?type=medias&cid=6114

VERSUS

MAD COW DISEASE
http://crazyshit.com/dc.php?type=medias&cid=6156

VERSUS

THE TUNA WARS
http://crazyshit.com/dc.php?type=medias&cid=6138VERSUS

WESTINGHOUSE THE WAR MACHINE
http://crazyshit.com/dc.php?type=medias&cid=6174

masturbate for peace posters

http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/posters.html

masturbate for peace posters...................marcythewhore

Cynthia Plaster Caster emails Jimi

Bless you Marci for the sage advice and great email!!
=)
BTW...i have been honored...Cynthia Plaster Caster emailed be back...
NOW i feel like a real MAN...
LOL...
tis quite the honor for a dime store rock star like moi!
=)
peace
jimi

marcythewhore says: It does Marcy's (me) heart good when Marcy (me) helps a rock and roll guitarist.

For those of you who missed the boat on Cynthia Plaster Caster, Cynthia was an original groupie who made personal fame for making plater casts of the penises of famous rock stars (she claims Jimi Hendrix was the biggest rock star of all).

It came to Marcy's (Me) attention that Cynthia has resurfaced with a web site about her accomplishments. So, Marcy (me) emailed Cynthia's web sites to all her former rock and roll afficiondos. Like Jimi.

Jimi wrote to Cynthia.

Cynthia emailed back to Jimi.

Hey, Jimi, share your Cynthia emails with us, huh?.......................marcythewhore


The Official Cynthia Plaster Caster Website
Welcome to the world of Cyntha Plaster Caster - artist, collector and fan. Where third legs, shoulder boulders and rock 'n' roll meet plaster.www.cynthiaplastercaster.com/ - 6k - Cached - Similar pages
Hi, I'm Cynthia and I'ma recovering groupie. I make plaster casts ...
Hi, I'm Cynthia and I'ma recovering groupie. I make plaster casts of penises and breasts that are attached to rock stars and other talented earthlings..www.cynthiaplastercaster.com/flash/home.html - 2k - Cached - Similar pages[ More results from www.cynthiaplastercaster.com

Vaginalvirginity.org

On Thursday Marcy (me) wrote about Ancient Egyptian Contraception and Potions: Different types of contraception were attempted, such as the use of animal dung as a form of a spermicide. If this failed, potions were derived to induce miscarriage. Potions were also used as aphrodisiacs by the Pharaohs.


On Friday Jimi wrote to Marcy (me): Marci, lol....cleopatra had a more organic take on contraception than that, from what i understand, she just swallowed alotta "happy endings". be well, thanks for writing!!
Jimi


Marcythewhore replies: You’re so right, Jimi. Did you know that the United States has the highest teen unwanted pregnancy rate of all western countries? And I bet you’ve helped raised that margin yourself, Jimi.

For sure Marcy (me) encourages safe Happy Endings in her chain of Chicago based massage parlors.

And we adults should get out there to inform our teenagers that one of the safest ways of keeping from getting pregnant is through good oral sex.

Marcy (me) suggests Vaginalvirginity.org.

Good tasting gels are available over the counter, kids……….marcythewhore

PS…everyone, eheck out this blog site http://thedarkstuff.blogspot.com/