Dear Marcy, do you masturbate? Hip Guy in Sheboygan
marcythewhore says: Dear Lost Soul in Sheboygan Wherever That Is: When? You mean like now? While I'm typing with one hand?
Okay, to be very honest with you, I'm not famous enough to masturbate. Not yet. Not like famous people like Oprah and Bill Clinton and Johnny Carson who got away with masturbating with a vibrator under his table while on camera for a couple of decades.
Some day I hope to be famous enough to masturbate.
Only famous people masturbate. I'm supplying you with a short list of famous masturbators.........marcythewhore
26 Oct 1440
Gilles de Rais, one of the wealthiest noblemen in France, is
executed for heresy after he is found to have engaged in the kidnap,
sodomization, and murder of 200 young boys from the lower classes. Rais enjoyed masturbating on the stomachs of the boys as they suffered excruciating deaths, sometimes also enjoying
necrophilia with their corpses.
1 Nov 1896
Tits appear for the first time in National Geographic, starting a trend of providing masturbation material to youth for decades. The tits are attached to a Zulu woman.
13 Dec 1973
The Reverend
Jim Jones is arrested in a
cruisy movie theater bathroom in
Los Angeles. Unfortunately, Jones had the bad luck to hit on an undercover LAPD vice officer while
masturbating in the Westlake Theatre men's room.
12 Dec 1980
"Whip It" earns Devo a gold record. It is the first distinction of its kind for any song about
masturbation. Whip it good.
19 Jan 1991
Wendy O Williams, of the Plasmatics, arrested for masturbating herself onstage with a sledgehammer.
15 May 1991
Alan Cooper stands trial in England for "committing a
lewd, obscene, and disgusting act on the 12-foot dolphin called Freddie as they frolicked for 20 minutes off the harbor mouth at Amble, Northumberland." Cooper responds by claiming that his accuser was a sworn enemy and had trained dolphins for a movie to jump out of the water and tear off a woman's bikini bra. He is eventually acquitted of masturbating the cetacean.
26 Jul 1991
Actor
Paul Reubens (aka "Pee-Wee Herman") is arrested in Sarasota, Florida for jacking off twice with his left hand inside the South Trail XXX Cinema. It was screening the triple feature Catalina Five-O: Tiger Shark, Nancy Nurse, and Turn Up The Heat. Following his masturbatorial debut, Reubens loses his children's television show and product endorsements.
9 Dec 1994
Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders dismissed after suggesting discussion of masturbation in school classes on sexuality. This gives rise to the euphemistic term "firing the surgeon general."
23 Jul 1996
The Reverend Robert Moorehead is arrested with another man in a
public restroom in Daytona Beach, Florida. Allegedly, they had been masturbating in the presence of undercover police officers. The case is later dropped and all records sealed.
19 Oct 1997
During the warm-up act at the Pittsburgh Civic Arena, 4,642 Motley Crue fans - including a few minor children - are treated to a vignette from a
pornographic video projected above the stage. The scene depicts a naked woman masturbating with a
dildo and performing fellatio. Tommy Lee does not appear in the video.
7 Apr 1998
Pop singer
George Michael is arrested by an undercover police officer after wanking in front him in a
public toilet. One of our rotten.com staffers has checked out the restroom (at Will Rogers Memorial Park in Beverly Hills) and reports that it continues to be "cruisy."
11 Jan 1999
Heavyweight boxer
Mike Tyson declares: "I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
2 Aug 1999
On Rivera Live, conservative freak Ann Coulter tells
Geraldo Rivera: "(
Clinton) masturbates in the sinks."
17 May 2000
Matthew Glavin, President of the Southeastern Legal Foundation, is arrested by an undercover officer on Medlock Bridge road in the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area, near Atlanta. Glavin was masturbating and attempting to fondle the officer. The SLF had spearheaded the attempt to get President
Bill Clinton disbarred in Arkansas.
17 Nov 2003
During an interview with Diane Sawyer, pop star Britney Spears discusses her new ode to onanism:
SPEARS: I have one song, it's called "Touch of My Hand," that's talking about you with yourself, which is a little much. But, it's a reality that we have. [...] Yes, I can relate to that song. And like, we all can, you'd be lying if you said you couldn't. But there is a -- I mean, it's not something you openly talk about with a lot of people. It's something sacred; and it's something I wanted to write about, so...
SAWYER: "Sacred"?
SPEARS: No, the song, "Touch of My Hand" -- talking about indulging in yourself.
SAWYER: And that's sacred?
SPEARS: It is sacred to me, but in a way -- explaining -- um, okay. I'm confusing myself right now.
http://www.rotten.com/library/sex/masturbation/